CJ

PLANS....

2009-05-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

I received an email a couple of months back...it was just a forwarded email that had a joke or something on it...and for the most part I have been deleting those when they come in because I just have not had the time to read through all of them...my PLANS did not allow me...=) Anyways, there was one that at the bottom by someones name had this verse "Commit your actions to the Lord and your plans will succeed" Proverbs 16:3....that caught my attention. Ever since then I have kept that verse where I can see it to remind myself that GOD is right there with me!

Do you have plans in place that tell you where you need to be...what you should be doing...what you will be doing....when you be doing it? We all have plans..some short term others far off into the distant future. And we tend to beat ourselves up if we do not stay on plan...why is that?
I have several plans...I have even managed to break them down into steps so that if I only reach this point...then I wont be disappointed in myself.

I have been struggling a lot lately with whether or not I made the right decision in pursuing some of my plans any further. I just feel like some of what I want...is selfish...or that the timing is not right...but is the timing ever right...and will everyone ever agree that we need to be doing what we planned? I realized that a lot of those feelings were coming from what other people were saying or how they would react to certain news...I know that they want to be happy for me...but I would feel as if in the back of their minds they were thinking "whatever" and that could all be in my head but I would truly feel that way...and then I saw this verse...and I remembered that GOD is there to walk with us not everyone else...He picks us up when we fall...he is there to give us that encouragement that we sometimes long for...he is there to not only see us SUCCEED but to ENSURE that we do!

I still don't know how this will all work out but I do know that God has given me a very supportive and loving family. And he has ALLOWED me to come this far...my plans (my dreams)...none of that has changed...only now I know that He is in control...not me...and that is how I will succeed!

Dreams....

2008-08-28T07:24:00.000-07:00

This year there has been a lot of talk about dreams. When I dream many things run through my mind. I think of traveling the world, seeing my children grow up to become whatever it is that they desire, thoughts of working with animals ever since I was a kid, becoming a doctor, and helping people!

Today 45 years ago was the date that Martin Luther King Jr gave his speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington. The part that has always stood out to me was, "Let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring—when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children—black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics—will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

It is said that on this day he educated, he inspired, he informed not just the people there, but people throughout America and generations yet to come. It is sad that we continue to battle with the same issues but we have come a long way because of the sacrifices made by such great people. People willing to step out and make a difference, not sheltered by their own fears!

Maybe that is why I have always admired Martin Luther King Jr. in a time such as the 60's for anyone to speak out against racism was a difficult task with many obstacles to overcome. But he knew in his heart that without action there would be no change. So he took a leap of faith and stood against his fears and spoke from his heart!

I battle with many fears...am I going to be a good parent...wife...daughter...granddaughter...friend...what will I accomplish in life. In the middle of all these things I stand allowing myself to be sheltered and distant.

Throughout life I have had to overcome many obstacles and I know that I will continue to have many more. God has given me many opportunities that I know without his grace and favor I would never have been given at my age. From those experiences I have learned many things and I feel in my heart that I have found where I want to be and God willing will be! I now know in my heart that what I want most is to help PEOPLE...the very people that for the most part I have been afraid of...offending...hurting...or of them hurting me. I have taken a stand against my fears and have set out on a journey that only with God's help I can accomplish! I don't know how far I will make it but I know that in the end I will be exactly where I am supposed to be, exactly where God wants me to be!

School and Parenting

2008-08-25T11:28:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning around 4 because I could not sleep, again! But I managed to get everything ready for the boys, woke them up at 6:15, fed them breakfast (not just cereal like normal) and they were sitting here waiting for the bus by 6:45. Everything was going great until the bus driver decided to be early and not even stop at the corner! So of course my dramatic 5th grader decides that his day is ruined. We jumped in the car and got them to school just in front of the bus...told them I loved them and to have a good day, I even managed to get a smile out of Jordan!

Parenting is crazy...I find myself having to stop take a breath and then talk to them just so that I don't start having a tantrum like theirs! I try to remember that they are still learning to control their emotions and we are suppose to set the example showing them how to do just that. I am not saying to let them be disrespectful but snapping right back has not been successful for me. I firmly believe that there is no right or ONLY way to raise our children. Each child is different and each parenting style is different I believe it is not what the so called EXPERTS say is right but rather what works for you and your child. As long as they know what is right and wrong and that you love them, that is all that is supposed to matter right? How do you manage tantrums?

Hello....

2008-08-22T07:08:00.001-07:00

So my Aunt is always telling me how much fun blogging is I decided to give it a try!

I have been out of school for 7 days now and I think that I have lost whatever was left of my mind!

Do you ever feel like your going 90 miles an hour and then all of a sudden you come to a screeching halt? What do you do to occupy your time?

I obviously have taken to the computer. And not just any part of the computer... you see I am a recovering shopaholic! There I said it...I took the 1st step! No but seriously when I had nothing to do in the past I would shop, I wouldn't even have to leave my house to spend money! So now that I am no longer employed I must find other avenues to occupy my time through! So here I am having a conversation with myself!